It's been a slice, a while, an adventure, one hell of an autumn and quite the send off to my year as a 22 year old. As I try to keep the momentum up for this blog I'm paying closer attention to my thoughts throughout the day, noticing if a subject comes up worth writing about. I've put it out there to those close to me and asked for feedback and support, asking them to send a topic my way they'd like me to dissect. In doing that my cousin Tracy asked me to "reflect over blocks of time".
That's my JAM.
I've always had a very vivid timeline in my head of my own life, a very clear progression of my years. Ages clumped together as relevant periods and chunks of time. Although we measure time in a certain way, looking back on my life some years are weightless in comparison to certain weeks. Looking back I have clusters of years bunched together that are in the same sort of stagnate fog where a single week from the more recent years of my life can be replayed with such clarity. It is not the amount of time that is relevant but the weight of the experiences. Years can go by lived in a funk, a useless state where you don't push yourself toward a light or bring awe inspiring experiences into your day. Then out of nowhere, a day, week or month holds so much intensity that affects your life. Positive or negative, those experiences will have more weight than certain years because you felt them. You didn't live through them on auto pilot but you actually absorbed what was in front of you, you participated.
Part of what sparked Tracy asking me to write on this subject was a favorite podcast (episode 32) of hers speaking on 9 year life cycles. Most goals and dreams we want to accomplish follow the same cycle ultimately resulting in 9 year chunks of time we can look over. I also think most things follow this same process but as they may be smaller mountains to climb the process can be sped up. Essentially he speaks on 9 year life cycles working along these lines: discovering what you want, asking for it, focusing on it , the fruition of small steps, achieving it, clearing the clutter of what you don't need anymore, and setting a new goal for the following cycle. In thinking of major life changes and accomplishments in that way, it would put me a few years into my third cycle. I'm 22 now, and can feel a definite change and a sense of purpose since being 18. I think that's pretty fair, considering 1-9 and 9-18 are essentially write offs for such major shifts as it's the absolute beginning of your being a human and grasping life.
I think in understanding this human process we have, the way we pull all things into our lives, it gives us such an advantage to work towards our dreams. We need to sit ourselves down and touch base on where we are in our "cycle" or "process" then regroup and refocus on getting ourselves where we want to go. One of the worst things we can do to ourselves is to allow ourselves to live in a constant state of monotony. Shit days and beautiful days will forever trump that deep feeling of indifference I've felt in my past. Feeling is always better than resisting. Feeling and experiencing help you grow, resisting bogs you down.
In light of the topic, the podcast, the blog and everything else happening in life right now I'm opening up more and more to the process being the purpose. Whatever you are doing in life, where ever you are finding yourself, THAT is your purpose. It will change, it will grow, but whatever it is today that's what matters. That's not always easy to digest and it's an especially tough one to swallow on bad days and in bad years. It's equally as hard to identify it, even when it's staring you in the face. It's too easy to be distracted by "I should" or "I can't until" which hold you back from just owning your present and what you know you already want.
For me, that's a daily struggle of acknowledging the bottom line of what I want and what I need to do to get there. I'm slowly realizing I do not need to do it all. I am, and will always be surrounded by a supportive group of people who will be by my side to help me reach my goals. That has been integral to my growth, and I believe to everyone's, find your people - they will help you find yourself. I don't need all the skills necessary for my dream business, or life, because none of that will be accomplished alone. It is up to me to refine my calling and my craft to serve myself and those around me, who in turn will fill my gaps in strength with their own. It takes a village, it always has.