My first trip to a gulf island, fueled by friends, bikes, lots of chocolate and even more sunshiney rays. My summer is quickly picking up speed and getting filled with escapes to the wilderness, looking forward to spending the bulk of my time outside shooting landscapes.
IMPULSIVELY PURCHASING FLIGHT TICKETS, AND LEARNING LESSONS.
While in delusional state back in October recovering from a stomach infected and flu I browsed flights deals for February as I started planning out my winter get away for surf. I reached out to friends for recommendations of spots in Mexico and Central America. Instead of listening, or following anyone's recommendations I instead went the cheapest route possible, cheapest flight, cheapest stay, cheapest rentals and we'll see what happens. I bought my tickets, booked my hostel and instantly felt a knot in my gut. Maybe I should have researched this a bit more I thought, until I stopped thinking about it at all.
Fast forward to February and I'm at the airport headed to San Jose Del Cabo, so ready to see direct sunlight and feel warmth nothing else matters. I didn't dig into to research after purchasing my flights, I really just leaned into the idea of going and figuring it out once I'm there. I arrived, and was greeted by over cast skies and the weakest surf report. Jokes on me I thought, I really should have thought this through more. I spent the first couple of days angry with myself, all I wanted was a week of non stop surf and sun, and instead I was reading a book on the beach under gray skies.
I was on the beach, in February, reading a book instead of being in the office. This is bliss.
Eventually the skies cleared, the waves came back and I managed to get a few sessions out on the water. My best ones to date actually, and I came home with a ton of images, restored and tanned from the sun. I spent the bulk of my trip reading, relaxing and doing nothing. Arguably the hardest activity at all, I really slowed down and learn to love the empty space in the day instead of trying to fill it. I did a whole lot of nothing, and it was great.
Next time though, I think I'll put a little more thought into it. ;)
I trekked into the woods today to finally, f i n a l l y, step back on to a skateboard. It feels like a lifetime ago (it basically was) that I gave it up and never really looked back. I failed, that was done, I wasn't good and I wasn't going to bother anymore.
Over the last few years as I've slowly tip toed my way onto a surfboard, paddle board, and snowboard that same feeling of failure came up each time. I've failed before, I'll probably just fail again. With every new board sport I tried, I felt that same gut feeling - I'm going to f**k this up. There's an older post on this blog that outlines the internal struggle I had learning to surf...it was an awful experience, but it taught me so much about myself, and how ruthless my inner dialogue was.
Since that first time getting on a surf board, It's all been fuel to the fire of determination to conquer that interior thought pattern. Anytime I feel myself plotting out another failure narrative I try to prove it wrong. I've gone on more surf trips since that day, and even have one coming up in three weeks. I've fallen in love with the sport after somehow turning that terrible experience into an undying passion.
At one of the last surf camps I went to there was a pair of middle aged spanish women learning to surf along side me and I thought it was one of the coolest things to see. Those are the women I want to embody. For my myself, for my friends and family, I want to see powerful women who aren't afraid at any age to just go for it. In order to do that though, you have to face your fears and push through.
Over the last few years slowly over coming each obstacle one at time, first surf, then snow, then paddle but the failure of the skateboard still sat in the back of my head. It seems crazy while I type this out, that we can hold on to something so strongly for years and smear it over ourselves as a failure we can never overcome. And yet, we do... at least I do.
After over a year of "maybe I could. No I won't. Maybe if I just, nope. I won't."
I bought a board.
When I got it, I played with it in my living room and taught my sister's cat how to ride it. I was grinning and so excited.
Then I left it, against the wall, collecting dust, for weeks.
I took it out one morning in order to ride to work and I pushed once, panicked, then put it back in the house and walked to work.
I really had a struggle with this one, and eventually I realized I needed to make it easier on myself. It's supposed to be fun I don't have to do this... I want to do this.
Then it dawned on me, go somewhere you feel good, do something that makes you feel good and the whole experience will change.
I went to the woods, took some photos, all was well in the world and I smiled non stop.
On to the next fear...
Well, there's a first time for everything... After being approached a couple months ago by an old colleague of mine brainstorming a photography work shop idea, I held my first workshop yesterday. Is this real life? I returned home last night to messages from instagram followers asking me when my next one would be, and did I have another date set etc... wait what?
I can't thank the crew at Arc'teryx enough for reaching out to me, and for organizing the entire event. Beyond the scope of what yesterday did for me, we did a lot of good raising a ton of money for Lions Bay Search & Rescue. The clinic alone brought in roughly 300$ and the evening's silent art auction another 1000$ +. What a great day, and great community to feel a part of in Vancouver.
As for the workshop it self it ran as smoothly as one could hope for as a first timer. I was undoubtedly nervous and a little scattered at first, but I learned a lot in hosting yesterday and have come home with a lot of great ideas and thoughts on how to improve the next. Everyone was happy and excited to be out there shooting photos despite the downpour that the mountains sent our way. Constant rain isn't terribly conducive to standing or sitting still and listening, next time a warm and dry starting point might be helpful! Despite that, it seemed most of our crew had never been out to this trail in particular, so it was a fresh spot for most. A nice crew of new faces to hang out with and teach some tips and tricks to. The bulk of the time was spent wandering and taking photos, and keeping as warm as we could. All in all I think it went pretty well despite my nerves. and I really enjoyed it. It looks like this kind of thing just might resonate with more people and there's something to be done here with hosting photography clinics.
Here's to diving into the fall and brainstorming for the future.
Off we go! After the first stages of planning we're finally ready to launch our show! We have a few posters that will be circling on both of our media platforms, Elvira and I are stoked to invite everyone to our opening on July 22nd. Here's one of many poster with all the details!
SEPTEMBER 24, 2017. A VERY LATE UPDATE:
Our show went incredibly well! Our entire evening was spent running around and chatting with our closest friends and family who came out to support us and introducing ourselves to new comers who walked in off the streets. Elvira and I both sold quite a few prints, and by the end of the night were full of joy and gratitude. We have a fantastic evening and couldn't thank all of those that supported us and helped put the show together enough. Here's hoping another show is to come soon enough!